And Jesus Wept

Its been a rough week. I've been hoping for a while that all of our trials were starting to lift and that we would be able to finally improve our situation and dig ourselves out of debt. I've really been working on the application of faith.

On Monday we loaded up the car to go fishing. This little car has been a blessing to us, but we have known from the day we first got it, that many things were wrong, and its days were numbered. Within a few miles of home our small periodic transmission problem turned into a noticeable and persistent problem. So we decided to forgo fun and relaxation, and instead went car shopping. Just to drive the point home, the car died twice in town, and once while climbing a hill on a major highway. That was one of the most nerve-wracking drives.

Our searches Monday were unsuccessful. However, because God is good, it just happened that we had a family member with an available car for borrowing this week. So we left our car on the other side of the mountain and drove home in safe reliability.

Summers are rather stressful and concerning. Business sales always drop drastically in the summer months. I have never been able to take a pay check from the business during the summer. So now, we come to the time of the year when I know we may not have the means to meet expenses, when funds become very limited, and we need to get a new car (likely without a miracle). Looking at options, to find anything decent we will have to pay twice what we want and four times what we can recover by Christmas.

So that's where I am today; stressed, depressed, and not holding it together. I know I am in good company, because this seems to be a bad week for a fair amount of friends as well. I have been in a better mental state this time. I have not asked "Why" because it just doesn't matter. I have not asked "How" because I know it all will work out. But it doesn't take away the pain.

But then it occurred to me, with all of Christ's knowledge, with all of his strength, with everything that he had that a mere mortal like me doesn't have; HE STILL WEPT. There were times that the emotion, the sorrows, the sins of the world were to much for him, and he had to let loose. So, as I struggle today, at least I know, I am with the Best.